*RANT WARNING*
You’re a Wannabe when…
You’re a Wannabe when…
- Your truck is “allergic to dirt”.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Sure, go ahead and baby your truck, I do, BUT IT'S MADE TO GET DOWN AND DIRTY. AH. The whole purpose of a truck is to do the big, tough, dirty jobs that cars can't get done. Besides, who doesn't LOVE mud??? Mudding is so much fun, how could you not want to be involved in that with your own truck? - Your cowboy boots have only seen the pavement of a Luke Bryan concert.
Cowboy boots are work boots, not a fashion statement. Sure, I have nice boots for formal wear, but they aren't bedazzled over the top floofy stuff. - Your cowboy hat or baseball cap is in pristine condition.
I couldn't tell you how many times my hats have been in the dirt and mud. Whether it's because of a gust of wind, getting buck off a horse, or going a bit too fast on my fourwheeler, each and everyone of them have ended up fairly dirty at one time or another. - Your music choice involves more pop country and rap than average country music.
If I look at your phone or your iPod and I see more Lil' John, Katy Perry, One Direction, Florida Georgia Line, Cowboy Troy, and Colt Ford than I do George Strait, Jamey Johnson and Justin Moore, you are a major wannabe. Sure, some of them will have a catchy tune every once and awhile, but you won't catch me listening to them all the time. I'll admit, I listen to a lot of rock, and some pop sometimes, but I could never listen to it all the time. - Your morning routine on opening day involves putting on makeup, taking a selfie, or checking social media.
It really bugs me when I check Facebook or Instagram and I see girls in the tree stand with ten pounds of makeup on, and then they wonder why guys don't take them seriously when they hunt. When I wake up, I roll out of bed, throw jeans on, grab my blaze orange and my gun and head out in the woods. I only take my phone in order to call my dad if I get something and need him to go get the truck. - You've never heard of Waylon Jennings or Bocephus.
HOW HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF THEM. Sometimes I understand if you don't know who Bocephus is, because that is the nickname his father gave him, but if even the name Hank Williams Jr. doesn't ring a bell, I'm sorry, but I can't be your friend. Then there's Waylon -- or as my dad would say, Waylon F--king Jennings. One of the original outlaws in country music. Young country artists name drop him quite often and it's hard to understand that you haven't heard of him just once? - You’re a guy and you have piercings.
Don't even get me started.. It's just so weird for guys to have piercings. Some piercings are okay for girls, like ears, nose and sometimes belly button. But guys, just please no. Don't pierce any bit of you. If you want a needle in your skin, get a tattoo. - Your “cut off” jeans are a designer label. I've only bought shorts a few times in my life, otherwise, they've always been jeans that I didn't wear anymore. Why go out and buy a bunch of shorts if you have unused jeans sitting around?
- IF YOU THINK A DIESEL HAS SPARK PLUGS. A friend of mine moved away from our small town, and began going to school in a fairly large city. He was really worried that there wouldn't be any other "hicks" there, so the first person he saw wearing boots, jeans and flannel, he tried to make friends with. To test him, he asked the guy if a diesel has spark plugs and the responded "..diesel.... isn't that a type of dog?" WHEN HE TOLD ME THIS I WENT BERSERK. I COULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE HIM. I MADE HIM PUT THE GUY ON THE PHONE WITH ME SO I COULD TALK TO HIM MYSELF. HE WASN'T KIDDING. Then he tried to find more "gearheads/petrolheads/etc." and when he asked the same question, they thought they did have sparkplugs. It just... It really gets on my nerves.